Wednesday 15 July 2009

My Birth Town

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Friday 3 July 2009

Jealousy

What is it? I met this first hand recently and thought it would be good to do a page on this subject.




First thing to note it belongs firmly in the world of emotions - mmm is that a female world? Men do have senses but do we possess emotions? Certainly we do but not to the same degree as our female friends.

Emotions fit into the world of interpersonal relationships - ie long term relationship between 2 or more people. Jealously fits into the 'or more' category usually, but I expect some are jealous of there husband or wife or parnter.

Here some examples of relationships.

Boyfriend · Casual · Cohabitation · Concubinage · Courtesan · Domestic partnership · Family · Friendship · Girlfriend · Husband · Kinship · Marriage · Mistress (lover) · Monogamy · Non-monogamy · Pederasty · Polyamory · Polyfidelity · Polygamy · Romantic friendship · Same-sex relationship · Significant other · Soulmate · Widowhood · Wife

This is the list of emotions that can be experienced.

Affinity · Attachment · Compersion · Infatuation · Intimacy · Jealousy · Limerence · Love · Passion · Platonic love · Polyamory ·

Some view jealousy as a healthy attribute to a relationship as in this quote.

'Jealousy in romance is like salt in food. A little can enhance the savor, but too much can spoil the pleasure'

Here is another view on the subject.

'A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.'

What is the difference between jealousy and envy? Jealousy is about something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy refers to something one does not have and either wants to acquire or to prevent another from acquiring.




This title is wrong it should be envy, one has something that the other wants! But maybe the words are used loosely in modern useage.


Here is a good picture that sums up jealousy. The blonde lady does not like the attention the other lady is giving to her partner. She feels she is at risk of loosing him.


Monday 22 June 2009

Women

Got women on my mind, after reading astra's excellent blog on dating,

http://astranavigo.blogspot.com/2009/06/some-more-observations-on-dating.html

The experience women have in the pass few decades is completely changed for large sections of society.

Even up until the 1970's some children in the UK were still seen as economic resource's and when a child got a job all the money went to the mother and they would have to ask if they needed money for something. This would last until they got married. It took wealth to bring this tradition to an end in the UK but most poorer countries in the world this still would be normal life experience.

A painting of a working woman by Van Gogh shows a harder life than is experienced by most women especially in the wealthier countries.





I remember Beth's blogs about the loss of her granddaughter and how devastated she was. What a contrast to how a victorian farm labouring woman would have viewed this situation. Just like the woman in the painting.

Life was so hard for the poor that the birth of a child could only be viewed though the eyes of economics and practical living. Affection and natural instincts where beaten out of their lives, though 'rude labour' exposure to the cold/heat or the elements, coarse food and lack of money.

The farmer would ask his labourer how did the birth of your child go? If the child was a girl the reply would be '' Aw, sir, a' be main weak and picked, an' like to go back - thank God! basically the labourer is saying the child is weak and wasted and hopes it will die soon - because it is a girl!

Why did they want boys so much. Its because they could earn money from a young age starting work as young as 8 but the girls were seen as poor workers and a burden for many years to come. If the girl had an illegitimate child it could be very hard for her, first she would be placed in the local work house if she was lucky, it was not unknown for the daughter to die from exposure after being thrown out of the family home.

A girl in the poor house was my great-great-great grandmother Sarah Emmans. Was she thrown out of the house by her family? probably yes. All we know was that her child grew up in the poor house and she managed to find work somewhere and some speculate it could have been America.

Sarah was born in 1821 and 17 years old when she had Robert in 1839. She must have had an extremely harsh existence and probably was uneducated, crude, and a very unpleasant person generally.

How did she get pregnant? one way a girl got pregnant was visiting the annual fair and maybe experiencing drink for the first time lost her way with a local boy who was probably equally drunk. Another way would be a reckless employer taking advantage of her, a sort of economic rape. It is possible Sarah got pregnant by being raped in horrible circumstances? The average girl at that time would not be stupid enough to have sex with a poor labourer even though there may be plenty of opportunities to do so. If the girl was suffering manic depression or major personality disorder or was mentally backwards she would be as risk and maybe Sarah was unstable in some way?

It is also possible she thought she had a viable mate but when she got pregnant, thinking marriage was the next step, only to find the man disappear without a trace. During this time most teenage marriages resulted in a baby being born 3 months later. In fact the vicars wife would offer prizes of furniture to the first couple to have a child after 9 months of marriage!

Robert got a break in life joining the navy and he eventually started a family of his own with a degree of success. The family story goes he joined the navy under 5 foot tall and grew to be 6 foot 4 inches and a big frame!

Check out Sarah here:

http://www.myheritage.com/site-724942/emmans-family-website

Thursday 18 June 2009

Wednesday 10 June 2009

Sunday 7 June 2009

Bruderhof

A Hyperbole is an exaggeration to make a point for impact. 'He has a brain the size of a pea' is an example.

The Sermont on the mount has been seen as a hyperbole by the traditional church but a few non-conformist take a literatal view of the sermon.

St. Francis of Assisi, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Leo Tolstoy and Ghandi are more famous people that take an absolutist view.

A lesser known charcater is Eberhard Arnold - which I have had 'contact' with.

He came from the German Youth movement which dates back to 1896 this was a sort of early 1960's movment.

'To escape repressive and authoritarian society and parents, groups of young people searched for free space to develop some life of their own. Also a romantic longing for a pristine state of things played a part. For this they turned to nature, confraternity and adventure. Soon the groups split and there originated ever more organisations, which still all called themselves Wandervogel'

The Bruderhof communities were started by Eberhart Arnold in 1920 with the first 'place of brothers' and it has a very intersting history from there on.

So where am i leading you here? well its the aboslutism view.

The sermon which inspires many thousands of intentional communities around the world - it says in the sermon -

But if thy right eye be a snare to thee, pluck it out and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members perish, and not thy whole body be cast into hell.

Sadly the Bruderhof have taken this verse in an absolutist way again - they find the internet a evil place so they have completely withdrawn their presence at a great cost to the web users. Up until a few years ago they had very good websites and it is so sad to see them disappear. I wanted to give you a proper introdution to the Bruderhof but I cannot. Most links are now dead on the web!

But they are true to what they believe - the sermon on the mount.

Their publishing house was also closed down and many important works were no longer available as a result.

Looking into the current situation the 'Plough Publishing' is now making a come back and the Bruderhof is starting to make presence again!

You can visit the Bruderhof in Kent UK and other countries as well.

Thursday 4 June 2009

Goodbye



Yahoo 360 blog is closing down on July 13th for good. It was my first 'cyber home' and I met some nice people there including Mae from Luzon who I met this year.
The site started June 2005 and I joined in 26th Aug 2006.
My blog had 649 pages and was visited nearly 150,000 times so was a popular page.
I will miss the site and feel there is no replacement blog site available they are all so different. Multiply seems to be the closest and has a friendly feel.
One of the best features of 360 was the ability to show very big photos and show of your photography skills well.
I thing Vox is the most advanced blog site and quite like it, this site seems very hard to use, the thing that puts me off is I cannot click and paste photos and text.
So for the last year or so I have been a blogging refugee with accounts everywhere and no real commitment to one community of bloggers.
Well I did a few blogs on the closure of 360 and this one seems to be the best! Maybe blogger could be my new home?

Friday 6 March 2009

Wandermap.net

Wandermap.net

This web site is very good. Compare it to quickmaps and you see just how good it is. http://quikmaps.com/show/70695
Anyone can now share their favourite route with the world and anyone can try out your route using very detailed satalite maps.
If you like walking then you will love this website.
The Germans must be proud of their efforts, they have done an excellent job and even given the world an english version also.
Have a look at my first route here. http://www.wandermap.net/route/128172